Solitary Witch

Last night I watched a bunch of videos by the Real Witches of Orange County on Youtube. It made me wonder what happened to me in the last 10 years that took me away from my goddess quests. I totally let myself get railroaded into a lifestyle I didn't want and that didn't suit me. I fear that the same thing will happen at the new place unless I put my foot down and quit giving up things I love just because I get no support for them from my lover. For one, I want to start meditating alone each day and setting up altars and paying homage to the god(s) and the goddess(es) of old. Sometimes I think I'd be better off living alone. I'm not sure you can be a witch and live with others.

Tarot Conversation

 Me (fyrefantasy) : want to hear something freaky
jon: Ok
fyrefantasy: I was thinking of doing a tarot reading at the new house last night
fyrefantasy: and I thought...no I'll just get the death card
fyrefantasy: which comes up a lot during moves because your old life is ending and your new life is beginning
fyrefantasy: it's transformation
fyrefantasy: so then I put on my new shirt this morning and realized the design was of 2 butterflies
fyrefantasy: also a 'death' symbol.  Some decks use butterflies instead of the grim reaper
fyrefantasy: it's transformation as well
jon: Right
fyrefantasy: so just now I'm cleaning off my desk, and my oracle deck was on there so I dug it out, to fix it and find the box.  Then I shuffled, cut and you guessed it
fyrefantasy: the death card.
jon: Weird
fyrefantasy: and that's why they pay me the big bucks

fyrefantasy: that card can literally mean death though

jon: In this case, let's root for transformation.

Deck used: Susan Halliday Awareness Cards.

Butterfly blouse

The saga continues.  Today we went to pick up the U-haul moving van we had reserved.  At this point I shouldn't even be surprised, but the art on the side of the van was a butterfly.

 

Stang and Headstone

Right now I just want to be at my new house. It's 111 miles from my present apt. The rent is already paid. I could be sleeping there. But first we have to move out.  We hit a snafu yesterday because we found out we couldn't get the moving van until Monday. (Stupid sabbath that still determines business hours). You'd think a company that helps people move would be open on weekends so people can move.

I can't wait to be able to see the stars in the desert. Maybe I can even get a telescope. The harvest moon was spectacular. I got to see it rise a few nights ago. Luna is going to be even more spectacular in the desert.

My new yard has a stang in it.  I can't wait to clean up around it and cross some arrows over it.  Arrows we have in plenty. But there is a lot of farm junk including barbed wire around it, so clearing out around it is going to be a challenge. One day at a time, right? If you have no idea what a stang is there is a great article on it here. http://witchofforestgrove.com/2011/02/27/how-to-use-a-stang/

We also found a headstone in the backyard, still attached to a frame. I looked the name up and the man is buried in the Lucerne Memorial Park, so I have no idea why his headstone is here. I'm also not sure what to do with it. We are only renting, so I guess I'll have to ask the landlady if it means anything to her. I thought maybe there was a typo on it, but it all matches up with the memorial park roster. She didn't even know how old the house was, and surely she knows it's in the yard since she lives next door. It seems if she wanted it, she would have taken it to her house long ago. Perhaps I can get a ride to the memorial park and see if his grave has a marker. Curiouser and curiouser.

Gargoyles

Today I lucked out at the .99 Store and found these cute items to get me in the Samhain mood. I love getting Halloween goodies on the cheap. Oops, I guess these are 'grotesques' since Gargoyles have water coming out of their mouths. Details details. Like many witches, October is my favorite month. Enjoy.

I just packed all my tarot books for the big move. I had no idea I had so many of them. I should re-read them and give them away to someone who is new to tarot. Or maybe I'll need them for tarot classes in my new home. 

Inspiring Photo

Source: rowdyraider.tumblr.com via Pye on Pinterest

A Tale of Two Mirrors

Yesterday something strange happened. I was in the shower moving some stuff and I knocked off the two sided mirror. It hit the ground. The top side looked fine but when I flipped it over it was cracked. I'm just not sure how superstitious I am. We make our own luck mostly. So I get dressed and go in the living room to tell my boyfriend I broke the mirror. We must have had it about ten years. So he tells me, "I broke the mirror in my shower today too." Ok, how fricken weird is that! I'm hoping one mirror cancels out the other. Either that or this cloud of angst that is hanging over us is a catastrophe waiting to happen. Considering the dire straits we are in, I have a really bad feeling about this.

Tarot Deck Reviews

I enjoyed this video on Tarot decks.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcLDZzC-Zho&feature=related
I left this response if he approves it.  I wanted to save it in case he doesn't.

I do have the Diva Tarot and I love the extra suit.  I don't try to shuffle them. I make sure I have a big enough table, and then lay them all face down and swirl them around with both hands to mix them up (or I let the querent do it). One of my pet peeves with decks is when I can't see them in a semi-dark room. Most venues stick the reader at a table with candlelight or mood lighting. I'm tempted to add a head lamp as part of my kit. I do have one deck where there are 3 lovers cards (FF, MF, And MM) which is nice. I just can't remember which deck it is off the top of my head. I have about 70 decks I guess.

Throws Mike Out the Window

I just lost more money because I can't get the mike to work on my computer. It's been extremely frustrating that this wee bit of technology has been such a block to my financial success. I've tried every setting, gone through 4 mikes, talked to half a dozen techs and I just can't get it to work. I've had this problem for at least six months. Most people want voice hypnosis, not text hypnosis and I can't blame them.

Day of Gourds

Gourds love to grow. They are a great symbol for abundance. A tiny gourd seed grows a vine that can cover your whole back yard and can have dozens of gourds on it. It could also be a symbol of creativity because you can make so many things from a gourd. Primitive cultures used them for drinking vessels, musical instruments, ladles, hats and penile covers, and baskets. The first clay pots are speculated to have been made in the shape of gourds, some of which look like bottles. Gourds come in all shapes and sizes, from small enough for an earring, to gigantic. So once a month I like to celebrate the greatness of gourds. I'm making some gourd fairy houses right now.

Tarot Inspired Belly Dancer

Day of Sand Day of Dreams

Dream 1: Last night was a busy dreaming night. I woke up in the middle of the night after dreaming that I was digging a grave with a shovel in the dark.  The soil was moist and easy to dig, and I had the uncanny feeling that someone had already been buried there and I kept peering into the darkness for bones.  Nearby a backhoe was also digging.  I became aware that the hillside next to me was about to give way. I could see sparks way above me.  I didn't know if they were explosions or static electricity but I knew we were in big trouble.  Nearby, in a derelict building I could hear Jack hammering away. So I yelled out 'Jack, Jack, we've got to get out of here'.  After much yelling I heard him yell back, "But I'm almost finished." I gave up on Jack. No time left.  I tried to run but came up against fences blocking my way.  I started kicking the rotted wood.  Finally I kicked a hole through and could see daylight on the other side. Then I woke up with my heart thudding in my chest like a freight train. Does my rapid heartbeat cause the bad dreams or is it the other way around?

Dream 2:  I was in an exhibit building at a fair. It was well lit, the displays were pristine, the people were clean and efficient. It was sanitary and boring.

I found my way to another older building made of dark wood. It was small and more like a display of indigenous people. I saw everything as I walked through and was just leaving when I got into a conversation with a bunch of hippy bohemian looking crafts people. They had older re-purposed clothes, circa 1970 maybe. Two of the men were healers and touched me and they were radiating heat. Nearby they had two buildings that looked like gypsy wagons where they put on little plays. As I got ready to leave one of them said he'd ordered a sandwich for me from the food wagon and I was to go get it because it was probably way past done.  So his girlfriend and his little daughter went to show me the way. It was a little embarrassing because they were dancing around and the woman kept trying to remove clothing both hers and mine. We got to the 'food' wagon and it wasn't food at all, but beadwork and jewelry. I asked for my sandwich and the man handed me this beautiful blue and white dangling beaded tassel looking thing instead. I tried to pay for it with paper money and he says, "No, give me the loose stuff." I didn't know what he meant. I only had about .75 in assorted change. I held out a handful of stuff.  Instead of the coins he took a wooden bus token. I got the impression that everything they did was on a bartering system. But when he went to hand me the item, it still had a string attached (how's that for a metaphor of gifts with strings attached). Ha. The clear thread was still attached to the beading spool. Then the man from the hippy tribe was there behind me trying to get everything all straightened out. That's all I remember of that dream. The cats woke me up wanting food soon after that.

I suppose on the Day of Sand it's appropriate to speak of dreams because they are the realm of Mr. Sandman after all.

Day of Flax

Today is the 12th, or the Day of Flax. Flax is a plant that is grown, left to rot (retted), and then made into fiber. Some of the archers have used flax to make linen bowstrings.  I have some flax cordage around here I'd like to use today to honor it. I'm just not sure where it is. If I ever get a bigger garden, I'll try growing some flax. It has beautiful flowers. And I just remembered flax seeds have health benefits.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flax 
Did you know Linseed oil comes from Flax? I didn't. I have some flax seeds in my kitchen. Perhaps I should try growing some in a container.  It's the right time of year for planting things in S. Cal.

My Tribal Calendar

I've decided to name each day of the month in a tribal fashion to give me a witch's calendar of sort. Each day is named after an animal, a bird, a plant, a stone and so forth. As each day rolls around I will ponder and meditate on it.

I got the idea from a page in Crown of Stars by Kate Elliot, only I chose by intuition my own labels.

1. Raven
2. Sand
3. Dogwood
4. Rock
5. Snake
6. Cat
7. Straw
8. Rowan
9. Goat
10. Clouds
11. Egret
12. Flax
13. Chert
14. Hawk
15. Fruit
16. Daisy
17. Gourd
18. Sheep
19. Rice
20. Flute
21. Bread
22. Ship
23. Harp
24. Knot
25. Campfire
26. Dog
27. Bamboo
28. Crossroads
29. Drum
30. Star
31. Dagger

Pavilion Dreams

It's not the first time, but once again I'm thinking of having a product line of magickal lotions and charms and lip balms and soaps. Every time I think the market for that kind of stuff is glutted on Etsy and on the Internet, someone comes along, opens a new shop, and next thing I know they've sold 2,000 items.

I am thinking of setting up at SCA events as a gypsy fortuneteller (for donations only) at events that don't allow vending, and giving each person a free sample and then selling my line at events that do allow vending. Since the SCA tries to steer clear of religion, I'm not sure I'd be welcome with open arms, but it is my persona. And it would keep my psychic skills from getting rusty. There is a lot of stuff to memorize...all those tarot cards, the meanings or runes, lines on the palms, astrology, numerology. It's a lot to carry around in your head, and if you don't use it regularly, it's easy to forget. It's going to be a lot of work. I need to make signs for inside and outside the booth. I need to make a fantastic covering so it doesn't just look like an Easy-up canopy. Presentation is everything in this kind of business.  I could have my dream pavilion so to speak. I did offer tarot reading at Great Western War once, and no one batted an eyelash. No one hired me either though. I don't think it looked professional having me stuck beside the archery booth like some itinerant beggar. When I've read at the Halcyon fair I've always had at least 6 paid readings a day.